Empty

They don't get it

All these feelings I am trying to omit

I am trying, I am trying,

Don't you know how hard I strive?

Putting a mask on my face

Well, let's just call it a phase

"It will pass, it will go," is my morning phrase

After all the restless nights I find myself in the mourning

Down the corner of my room wondering how to repair it

When I don't even know what's the problem, it's crazy ain't it?

I'm disappointed and not mad. Wanna know how does it felt?

Smiling on the outside and hurting on the inside

Feeling lonely at home. Well, let's just set that aside.

Cuz I'm a real great actor working my shift two-four hours

That's my job don't you know it?

I've been working there since twelve

Why?

"It's nothing, I'm just tired," only that's what it takes, right?

To convince everyone that my whole life's alright, sike

No offence

But, I doubt that there's someone there who knows

How hard it is for me when there's nowhere to go

I have faith but I don't know, it seems fading away

"Have you try reaching out?"

Don't you see the battle scars?

I did try, I did seek

But they don't seem to care

They do cheer, they do pat

But they talk in your back

Did I upset you? Yes? Ooops hypocrite

I'm sorry, didn't mean that I just wanna have friends

Kay, I'll stop talking. It's annoying

But there's a lot more to this

It's just complex, all confusing,

I don't wanna burden you so forget what I say

Sorry. 

WRITER'S NOTE (PLEASE READ)

[Hey! I don't know what to classify this as. I intended it to be a poem (is it?) but then it sounds like a spoken word script when I am reading it. Sorry, I'm just a rookie. Well, either way, that's not important.]

I write this when I felt so empty because I haven't been connecting to God lately and I have been struggling with insecurity and some other complicated stuff.

Well, for anyone of you who can relate to this, hey, there's a God up there. I can't fix it neither can you. My words are probably not enough to express your anger and frustration towards your condition. Everything might seems uncertain at times. I am not sure of how you felt but one thing that I can be sure of, God is there with you, walking beside you. You are worthy of love no matter what you did. Even if the problem is caused by your act, God is still there with you. When other people leave, He won't. Stop putting the church as your cornerstone. Because it isn't. God is. Talk to Him like He's your friend and father. He loves you so much, warrior.

This won't make things better, I know. But your step to seek for Him will. Please hold on and keep on fighting, He knows you're tired, He will give you the strength to face it. You may fall seven times but stand up eight. Let the battle be God's and not yours. Hold on, it's worth it. :).

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

When God is your reason to live, you will never have a reason to quit - Spiritual Inspiration

If you want to chat with me for extra emotional support :D or for further advice please feel free to contact me anytime you want.

Lots of love,

Your beloved writer